| Writings |
Rae |
Past |
Visuals |
But if your heart's not in it, for real.
Please dont try to fake what you dont feel.
If love's already gone,
Its not fair to lead me on.
Cause, i would give the whole world, for you.
Anything you'd ask of me, i'll do.
But i wont ask you to say,
I'd rather walk away.
If your heart's not in it.
I want to go out and get some air!
Girlfriend M has seemed to disappear.
I'm stuck coming up with a dumb speech for some presentation tomorrow.
I want to watch my L Word.
Okay, i've been doing some retail therapy these few days.
And i bought my Fred Perry bag at long last.
Together with Kaikai and Pingping,
we were like on some shopping spree yesterday!:D
Yay, now we three carry Fred Perry bags.
I'm currently having some bitch fit right now.
Rah, i'm so ugly i feel like smashing the mirror whenever i see myself there
Yes i bet you readers out there will totally agree, and be elated that i know that i'm ugly.)
Somehow i feel like screaming and pulling my hair out.
Carmen's like so fucking hot.
I think i'm violent,
okay i AM violent.
I think probably i should go see some doctor or something.
So dumb.
Yesterday some girl was so curious abt the Big Pony i was wearing and she started asking me where i bought it, how much i bought it and blah blah blah.
The RL logo's like so beautiful and she told me,
I like the buttons.
In my mind i was like WTH!
Haha, i probably wont buy a polo-tee which costs like hundred over to probably two hundred just because i like the four buttons?!
Digressing, i'm asking my mama to get me a green one. :D Yay.
I was friendster surfing,
and i came across Reyes's profile and i must comment,
Her primary photo's horrible!
Hahaha, but nonetheless,
She looks so charming in some of the pictures that i'm falling in love with her, all over again. :D
On a last note,
Kaikai just informed me that Ping has given names to our bags.
Ping's one is called Freddy, Kai's Freddo, and mine's Freddu.
Dumb, totally dumb. Haha.
For the first time,
Shane said I love you.
Aint life all about ups and downs?
For now, the downs are over. :)
Sometimes, its funny to see how people may look so cold on the surface,
yet there are little children at heart.
M's one great example.
She behaves like she's so grown up.
In fact you should see how she plays on the swing.
Did i mention, sunshine after the rain?
Just in case you were wondering, we're good. :D
These few days have been cramped up with Project Work and Goong.
Just a note, people with good taste choose ShinGoon over YulGoon okay!
And PW's such a dread, it seems like its never ending.
People in life, come and go.
I never wanted anyone in my class to be left behind,
yet its something that i cant control.
Right now, all i can do is to treasure the remaining times spent.
I guess, everyone's pretty upset over the whole retaining issue.
I seriously think, the world is ending.
As the second coming of Christ approaches,
one sign was predicted was that there would be more and more homosexuals in the world.
And it seems that everywhere we see gay couples around.
More and more of my friends are turning homo.
I'm still searching for my Christian faith.
But i irk at the thought that you proclaim to be holy and clean,
yet you're committing the greatest sins of all,
candooling under the eyes of our Lord.
Nay gyot tay, :)
To those whom i made worry today,
i'm so sorry for my sudden outburst of emotions.
I'm alright and good so dont worry yah.
And Harry,
you know i love you and you're certainly not an asshole.
However, imposing as Harry is very asshole indeed.
So to that Harry poseur out there,
i appreciate that you back me up against those dumb comments,
but dont impose as Harry please?
Thank you.
What's the date today?
Oh, its the sixteen.
What a fateful day it is today.
I feel like a breakable thread thats about to break any moment now.
i just cant believe things would turn out this way.
I dont want things to turn out this way.
I dont want to let go.
I'm fine thank you.
Three cheers for all those out there celebrating that i'm breakng down.
Dumb immature cowards who jolly well should go fuck themselves.
I'm just happy with the way i am.
Be it being short, ugly, les or whatsoever.
I'm les, or not.
Doesnt concern you anyway.
I'm so fucking in love with Shane or not,
you dont have to care.
Somehow, i miss my girlfriend.
Bu we're currently ignoring each other.
How ironic.
Shane's so fucking hot,
Ping Ping agrees too!
Re-edited
Its funny how time seems to fly,
its been four papers down already.
Two more to go, and its the end of promos! :D
Math today was the ultimate killer, i'm feeling kinda suicidal after the paper.
Speaking of which, insecurities have been setting in pretty much these days.
Emptiness has been casting shadows upon me.
Somehow i feel like i'm lost.
Anxiety kicks in, damnit i hate that feeling.
In the doldums, it seems like a perpetual cycle of misery.
General Paper was pretty much screwed up.
Grammer was fluctuating, sentence structure was all wrong.
I'm expecting a pretty low GP grade this time.
I was wondering when M will take her driving test,
and then we'll take her car down to Changi some night for supper.
Did i mention M's lending me the L Word after exams!
Okay, i cant wait for my stupid promos to end.
PS. OKAY I'M SO FUCKING IN LOVE WITH SHANE.
Seriously, that girl makes me go weak on my knees.
Enough about all the rattling and swearing from the previous entry,
i havent called you a bitch so stop calling me one.
Once again, i was up studying at Gardens Macs last night.
Surprising, guess who was there?
M, that silly girlfriend.
And we had Indian rojak at one in the morning, how sweet.
And talking bad abt some common annoying enemy of ours, yay.
To hell abt you feeling upset or anything,
i simply dont care.
M wants me to tell you,
its none of yr business anyway.
I'm sorry if you know nothing abt whats going on,
its just that life's been pretty screwed and i just need a medium to ink some thoughts down.
Rachel / Rae
24th nov 1989
raeraerae_@hotmail.com
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